Burrito Brain

The AlmaNick › Fan identity

Hauser

Someone who hates the podcast or is hateful in general, named after the fake identity Douglas Quaid takes on in Total Recall.

coined by Taccone via his friend Jake · term catalogued by the Screen Beat fan dictionary

First heard Ep. 58 · 5:48 Doogie Howser Theme 17 mentions across 8 episodes, 2024-06-24 to 2026-06-03

Keeps company with: Kuatocube jobcubedSmintQuaidonot agonk

Where it comes from

It sits next to the 'Quaid army' / 'righteous kill' call-and-response, which comes from the show's Total Recall bit.

How the hosts use it

Used as a label for pod haters, and jokingly for hosts who sound like haters (Andy is said to have 'established firmly he's a hauser'). In Ep. 59 the hosts circle the coincidence that Quaid's alter-ego is Hauser, Doogie's surname is Howser, and Doogie's first name is Douglas, so they treat it as a puzzle.

Why fans love it

It is a deep-cut Total Recall reference stacked on the Doogie Howser coincidence. The hosts mix up the spelling (Hauser, Houser, Howser) and what the character is, and get confused about whether they themselves love or hate the pod.

Written by the AI from the transcripts. Every sentence was checked against them, one by one (the full episode transcript wherever a sentence names one); 2 sentences that failed the check are left out. How the check works.

Every time it comes up

Ep. 58 Doogie Howser Theme 2025-05-07

  • 5:48

    I think if there's any haters of the pod, my friend Jake pitched this, that they should be called housers.

  • 5:51

    Jorma: they should be called housers

    coined here
  • 50:39

    A bunch of fucking Hausers make that decision.

  • 50:39

    A bunch of fucking Hausers make that decision.

Ep. 59 A Couple of Homies 2025-05-13

  • 25:33

    We talked in the last episode about how Hauser is also Douglas Quaid's real name in Total Recall.

    explained
  • 25:47

    Seth: Douglas Quaid's real name is Houser, just like Doogie Houser.

  • 32:41

    Did they ever call him Doogie Quaid? Yeah, like, is that his nickname?

Ep. 60 Laser Cats! 4-ever 2025-05-20

  • 5:28

    I did see some of the comments and I saw that people were correcting us that the alter ego of Douglas Quaid is actually Carl Hauser.

  • 5:32

    Akiva: people were correcting us that the alter ego of Douglas Quaid is actually Carl Hauser.

  • 5:42

    Akiva: if you have a correction like that, just keep it to yourself.

  • 30:18

    while you guys were talking about Hauser Hauser last week

  • 30:21

    Seth: somebody also said Paul Verhoeven directed Total Recall, also directed... Starship Troopers.

Ep. 61 I'm On a Boat 2025-05-27

  • 24:46

    I'm not trying to create another Doug... Hauser, Hauser situation.