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Episodes › Ep. 21 2024-08-19 · 44:14

Roy Rules

Episode 21 centers on the 2007 digital short 'Roy Rules', which Andy Samberg created about his real-life brother-in-law Roy, with Brian Tucker playing Roy. The hosts discuss the short's troubled production and censorship, including the change from 'succulent handjobs' to 'succulent rubdowns' with Lorne's approval. Seth, Andy, Akiva and Jorma are all present. Matt Murray sends a voice note about Roy Rules, and the hosts debate whether it qualifies as Criterion, concluding it is a delightful but not Criterion short. The Scarlett Johansson-hosted SNL episode and its sketches follow, including Marble Columns and a deep dive into the Kuato sketch ('Quado 2'), with the hosts discussing Quaid lore like smints, vomiting, and Daryl as Schwarzenegger. The episode closes with a voice message from the real Roy describing his experience of the short, and the hosts tease the next episode's Zach Braff show.

QuaidCriterionKuatoSmintreverse tease

Heard here, not in the AlmaNick yet

  • succulent rubdowns “and i go how would you feel about succulent rubdowns and there's a long pause”

Shorts discussed: Roy Rules, Roy Rules, Quado 2 (Kuato sketch sequel), Marble Columns

Guests: Matt Murray (Mentioned as having been involved in the writing/pitch…)

← Ep. 20 Dear Sister  ·  Ep. 22 Talking Dog →

Now at 0:00. Tap or click any pop-up to jump there. Open on YouTube.

Pop-ups (24 · 2 fan picks from YouTube comments)

  1. Roy is Andy's real brother-in-law

    1:53

    Roy Rules is about Andy's actual brother-in-law Roy, whom Andy has known since high school. Andy has said he loves him dearly and made the short partly because he found the idea funny.

    It's about my real-life brother-in-law, Roy. I guess we should just start off by saying Roy, my actual brother-in-law, is one of my favorite people in the world.

  2. Why the short was made run-and-gun

    3:02

    The hosts explain they were tired of full-crew productions and wanted a low-stakes, camera-only shoot. Making it personal was a new move for the group.

    It was a conscious choice to do something kind of run and gun and low stakes. We weren't swinging for the fences.

  3. Fans point here

    4:47

    2 YouTube comments timestamp this moment, 1 likes.

    I did rewatch it. So did I. Okay. I do want to say something real quick and I'm going to go back. And I'm only doing this, Andy, because as we've established, hopefully on this podcast, Andy is dominant in the spelling…

  4. Brian Tucker casts as Roy

    6:49

    Brian Tucker, an SNL writer who joined the show the same year as the Lonely Island trio, played Roy because Roy himself could not appear once the short aired.

    The incomparable Brian Tucker. He's a writer at SNL. One of the great SNL writers.

  5. Tucker's Public Enemy prank letter

    7:49

    Brian Tucker once slipped Jorma a fake government letter quoting Public Enemy's 'Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos', a prank Jorma then shared with friends.

    What is the name of the Public Enemy song that is, I got a letter from the government the other day.

  6. The 'succulent handjobs' censorship fight

    13:14

    The original line about Roy's 'succulent hand jobs' was pulled by standards, and the cast had to change it. Andy phoned Lorne to negotiate, and Lorne accepted 'succulent rubdowns'.

    I've got this theory he was put on earth by God to give men succulent hand jobs.

  7. Lorne accepts 'succulent rubdowns'

    14:12

    After Andy pitched the replacement by phone, Lorne replied 'I could live with succulent rub downs,' a line the hosts still treat as a classic Lorne moment.

    I could live with succulent rub downs. And I go, okay, great, thank you.

  8. Betsy Torres, the censor

    15:42

    Betsy Torres was the SNL censor who worked with the writers on every song, often suggesting odd replacements for words she flagged.

    She would sit with us for every song and literally be like, there, I can still hear an F and there's some K in there.

  9. Roy's voice note on the cast's reaction

    17:20

    In his voice note, the real Roy recalls being convinced the cast was pranking him, and being surprised when Seth seemed to recognize him as the real Roy.

    But then, when we were hanging with Andy backstage, the different cast members were really interested in meeting me.

  10. Harassment fears never materialized

    18:50

    Roy feared the short would bring harassment and considered changing his number, but the attention faded quickly.

    And I was worried that I needed to change my phone number or my email because I didn't want to be harassed for the rest of my life.

  11. Dirk Nowitzki's final-10-seconds praise

    20:26

    A YouTube commenter named Dirk Nowitzki praised the final ten seconds of the short as the funniest thing they'd seen on SNL, and Akiva read it on air.

    the final 10 seconds is what makes this possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen on SNL.

  12. The only lit shot in Roy Rules

    20:59

    Nearly every shot of Roy Rules was unlit; the one exception was a lamp from the writers' room aimed at Andy's face as he steps off the piano.

    There's only one shot with lighting, which is when you come off of the piano and then look down.

  13. Steve Higgins' world map wall

    21:21

    The world map backdrop in the T-shirt moment is the one on Steve Higgins' office wall. Seth describes Higgins' office, complete with espresso machine, as the office he always wanted.

    the world map that is on Steve Higgins' wall. Higgins' wall, yeah.

  14. Matt Murray voice note on Roy Rules

    22:01

    A voice note from former SNL writer Matt Murray arrives, in which he admits he doesn't remember much of his SNL work, blaming stress, shame, or booze. He thinks he may have been involved in Roy Rules.

    Matt Murray: Hey guys, Matt Murray here. You're talking about Roy Rules, something I just watched and have zero memory of being involved with.

  15. Seth validates stress of SNL writers

    23:06

    Seth finds it validating that Matt Murray admits to SNL stress, since it suggests the pressure affected many writers. He compares it to John Solomon, whom Jorma recalls going to the hospital for heart palpitations.

    I also want to say I never tire of having my time on the show validated when I hear a cool customer like Matt Murray say that he was stressed

  16. Fans point here

    27:15

    3 YouTube comments timestamp this moment, 32 likes.

    You guys, that was in the Scarlett show. Scarlett was not in the sketch. Yeah, we didn't shoot it that week. It was filmed three weeks earlier, as we've discussed. Of course, right. And that's why I can't figure out… — Seth

  17. Quado 2 described as a masterpiece

    31:34

    Seth declares Quado 2 a masterpiece after rewatching it, reversing his earlier opinion of the first Quado sketch. He suggests the sequel answers his earlier criticisms of the first.

    I rewatched Quado 2 today. It's a masterpiece.
    KuatoQuaid

  18. Quado 2 as response to Seth's critiques

    31:57

    Seth jokingly describes the first Quado as a walking diss track he responded to, and the second as a reply to his lame disses. The hosts joke about the sketch being a 'they not like us' response.

    the second Quado is a response to my lame ass disses.
    Kuato

  19. Smint offered at Quado party

    34:39

    The Kuato character asks Quaids for a smint, a breath mint popular in the UK. The sketch's mint request becomes a lasting Quaid reference.

    any of you quades got a smint? My breath is kicking harder than Adam Vinatieri.

    Goes back to Smint, Ep. 13, 39:09, Seth: Any of you quades got a smint? Great.

    SmintQuaidKuato

  20. The accidental vomit cut

    38:51

    Will and Kenan were supposed to speak a few lines before vomiting, but the barf started early. The hosts argue the accidental cut is the best part of the sketch.

    They came in and before they got their lines out, the barf started firing.
    Kuato

  21. Daryl as Arnold Schwarzenegger cameo

    40:11

    Daryl Hall appears as Arnold Schwarzenegger at the end of Quado 2 with a fake ear on his hand, which the hosts believe was truncated for time. The Schwarzenegger cameo ties the sketch back to Total Recall.

    Yeah, Daryl comes out as Arnold Schwarzenegger.
    QuaidKuato

  22. Smints are a UK mint brand

    42:36

    The hosts note Smint is a UK-based brand, with a .uk website. It was a sugar-free mint created in 1995.

    Smints are UK based. Smint website is a .uk.
    Smint

  23. Roy Rules reaches Final 64

    44:03

    Roy Rules made it to the Final 64 of the Digital Short bracket as a 15 seed, a result the hosts find fitting.

    Roy Rules did make the final 64. It was a 15 seed.

  24. Criterion Collection debate

    44:44

    Andy calls Roy Rules a delightful confection but argues it doesn't belong among the best Digital Shorts. Criterion is the highest ranking of a short's quality.

    I think it's a delightful confection, and I think it represents a type of giddy dumbness that we love.
    Criterion

  25. Reverse tease for next week

    45:44

    Seth teases the next episode's discussion of the Zach Braff-hosted show, which the hosts call a reverse tease.

    This is, I think, what we call a reverse tease when you start talking about the next one.

  26. Two Criterion shorts in one season

    46:27

    Andy notes that United Way and Dear Sister are both Criterion, calling it a successful season to have two of those.

    By the way, United Way and Dear Sister are both criterion for our discussions.
    Criterion
People and sketches mentioned (21)

Lorne Michaels Betsy Torres Steve Higgins Neil Brennan Matt Murray Dirk Nowitzki Matt Murray John Solomon Adam Vinatieri Jude Bellingham Carrie Underwood Lorne Michaels Daryl

Scarlett Johansson host episode Racial draft Chappelle sketch Throw It on the Ground Marble Columns Quado 2 Total Recall Citizen Kane Zach Braff show

Source: whisperx+speakers transcript, read by anthropic/claude-haiku-5.5 on 2026-10-19; audio timestamps mapped to the YouTube cut by word alignment. Timestamps shown are YouTube time. Report a bad pop-up.